Post by sitohruharuno on Nov 7, 2014 18:15:21 GMT -5
My love for you
Has become deeper than the cuts
I once sliced into my wrists
I know that doesn't sound
Like its saying much
But when a blade
Was always your only friend
And you had all intentions
To slit your throat
And stop your breathing
Saying even just "I like you"
Can be hard
After talking in circles to walls.
Insanity pulled her claws through my brain
A long while ago
Scratching and yanking at the membrane
'Till she had dug a deep enough hole
And planted a seed.
The seed grew,
Shifting and shaping,
Forming itself into a tree
With great big gnarled arms
And thorny vines,
Which pierce and constrict
Squeezing, squeezing, squeezing
(Mustn't let it think)
It- that's what I've become
An animal,
Though whether I play with kanine aggression
Or stand frozen in the headlights
Is still within question.
As my eyes widen
And my pulse races,
I could be either one.
I feel most like a dog
When beside you.
Loyal and playful
But watch how I bite, how I tear, how I destroy
My claws scrape and my teeth gnash
And you watch sadly as my true rage appears.
I feel most like a deer, too
When beside you.
Scared and helpless,
Watch how you bite, how you tear, how you destroy
My panic rises and my fear constricts
And you watch sadly as my true cowardice appears
Which side of me do you like best?
Do you like when I play shy,
Show you all my fears and hurt?
Or is it better for me to be savage,
Brave and blunt about my intent,
Whining and ranting and testing you.
Always. I'm always testing you.
Pushing, pulling, prodding.
(What will it take to make you break?)
Bitching, bending, brooding
(When will you get sick of me?)
Collapsing, cracking, crying
(Why do you still love me?)
Always. You're always loving me.
Hushing, holding, healing
("You can't see me snap that easy")
Whispering, weakening, warming
("How could I grow tired of you?")
Reassuring, reassembling, rescuing
("I love you.")
What are you doing with me?
See my scars?
See my scratches?
See the fear in my eyes and the holes in my heart?
You're fixing them, resealing the places
Where my heart shattered
But I'm scared.
The vines around my brain
And the chains around my wrists
And the noose around my neck;
These are the things I fear most,
For I fear that they'll become
The vines around YOUR brain
And the chains around YOUR wrists
Ans the noose around YOUR neck.
What if my insanity reaches out
And cracks your perfection?
(The only flaw you'll ever have
Is loving me.)
Love, what is that but a whisper
On a crowded street?
I want to shout it to the world,
How much I love you.
Would you scream it with me?
Three words.
Two voices.
One roof top.
No one would ever hear,
They're all to busy finding their own love,
Why should they tune to our shrieks?
(I'll yell with you, anyways,
Holding your hand,
Heart in heart,
Together is where we should be.)
There is one thing I know
When I can figure out nothing else-
I love you-
Even when that means fighting myself,
Pushing away my true nature.
If that's what it comes to,
So be it,
I'll do anything
As you wish...
Has become deeper than the cuts
I once sliced into my wrists
I know that doesn't sound
Like its saying much
But when a blade
Was always your only friend
And you had all intentions
To slit your throat
And stop your breathing
Saying even just "I like you"
Can be hard
After talking in circles to walls.
Insanity pulled her claws through my brain
A long while ago
Scratching and yanking at the membrane
'Till she had dug a deep enough hole
And planted a seed.
The seed grew,
Shifting and shaping,
Forming itself into a tree
With great big gnarled arms
And thorny vines,
Which pierce and constrict
Squeezing, squeezing, squeezing
(Mustn't let it think)
It- that's what I've become
An animal,
Though whether I play with kanine aggression
Or stand frozen in the headlights
Is still within question.
As my eyes widen
And my pulse races,
I could be either one.
I feel most like a dog
When beside you.
Loyal and playful
But watch how I bite, how I tear, how I destroy
My claws scrape and my teeth gnash
And you watch sadly as my true rage appears.
I feel most like a deer, too
When beside you.
Scared and helpless,
Watch how you bite, how you tear, how you destroy
My panic rises and my fear constricts
And you watch sadly as my true cowardice appears
Which side of me do you like best?
Do you like when I play shy,
Show you all my fears and hurt?
Or is it better for me to be savage,
Brave and blunt about my intent,
Whining and ranting and testing you.
Always. I'm always testing you.
Pushing, pulling, prodding.
(What will it take to make you break?)
Bitching, bending, brooding
(When will you get sick of me?)
Collapsing, cracking, crying
(Why do you still love me?)
Always. You're always loving me.
Hushing, holding, healing
("You can't see me snap that easy")
Whispering, weakening, warming
("How could I grow tired of you?")
Reassuring, reassembling, rescuing
("I love you.")
What are you doing with me?
See my scars?
See my scratches?
See the fear in my eyes and the holes in my heart?
You're fixing them, resealing the places
Where my heart shattered
But I'm scared.
The vines around my brain
And the chains around my wrists
And the noose around my neck;
These are the things I fear most,
For I fear that they'll become
The vines around YOUR brain
And the chains around YOUR wrists
Ans the noose around YOUR neck.
What if my insanity reaches out
And cracks your perfection?
(The only flaw you'll ever have
Is loving me.)
Love, what is that but a whisper
On a crowded street?
I want to shout it to the world,
How much I love you.
Would you scream it with me?
Three words.
Two voices.
One roof top.
No one would ever hear,
They're all to busy finding their own love,
Why should they tune to our shrieks?
(I'll yell with you, anyways,
Holding your hand,
Heart in heart,
Together is where we should be.)
There is one thing I know
When I can figure out nothing else-
I love you-
Even when that means fighting myself,
Pushing away my true nature.
If that's what it comes to,
So be it,
I'll do anything
As you wish...